Ephemeral
by teamEdwardonly
Summary: What if Edward could dream? What things would he dream about? Takes place during Midnight Sun, before they've gone to the meadow. One-shot.


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Ephemeral

I suddenly found myself in a place I had never been before. Sunlight was streaming down from a clear blue sky onto a meadow area filled with different types of flora. There was a large pond several feet ahead of me, reflecting the scenery in its depths. The breeze quietly whipped around me, ruffling my hair. It was so quiet. There was no way to tell, yet I felt like I was the first being ever to step into this Garden of Eden.

A few steps behind me, I heard the crunching of grass. I turned slowly- I couldn't hear any thoughts and that meant it could be just one person. My eyes met a pair of warm chocolate brown ones and I knew that I was right.

She wore a deep blue dress, looking like something she would wear to a dinner party- I hadn't the slightest idea how she got to the meadow wearing it, but there was not a single cell of my brain that cared. It showcased the cream of her skin exquisitely. Her hair flowed down her back, gently waving with the breeze. But what made my breath speed was the curve of her lips stretched into a brilliant smile. She looked happy- joyful. To be here with me?

It seemed impossible at that moment that anything would ever be able to wrench my gaze from her face ever again. This would have to be their permanent resting place from now on.

"Finally," she whispered as she reached my side. She looked into my face and her smile stretched wider.

In the back of my mind, separate from the whole that was enraptured with staring into the deep depths of her eyes, I was wondering why this all seemed totally normal to her. There was no surprise, no shock, not even wonderment in her face as she gazed back at me. Did _she_ have any idea what was happening?

"Do… do you understand- _any_ – of this?" I gestured to the scenery around us, which now seemed rather plain in comparison to her.

My awestruck tone must have amused her because she laughed softly. She bit her lip as she always did when she deliberated. "I'm fairly certain that your subconscious has been prevailed upon so long with an image that it has finally let it take control. Your body and mind have gone inert with the shock."

"I don't have a subconscious, Bella. No vampires have a subconscious. We are _always_ conscious." My voice came out stiffly.

She shrugged. "Okay then, so you have _consciously_ forced your brain to imagine something so much that it appears as reality. I don't really understand it either. But I'm just a part of the vision anyway…" She waved her hand in the air as if this was very inconsequential.

It felt like my brain was working very, very slowly. I still had trouble understanding what she was saying. Well, I suppose I understood it, though I had never experienced anything like this before ever as a vampire. I just had trouble accepting it.

When I got close to hysteria, the rules of it didn't seem to matter so much anymore. I realized that this would be the closest thing I ever came to dreaming again for the rest of my existence. And who knew how much time I had? Why waste it?

Here we were all alone in my extremely powerful imagination that felt so much like reality. My heart started to pound.

My _heart_?!

My hand felt frantically at my chest. It wasn't a joke. I felt the beat of my heart so strong against my hand. I was sure my eyes were about to bug out of my head.

I looked at her again- so grateful at the very least to have some other witness. Even if that witness was a figment of my imagination. Even though all of this was in my imagination.

It _felt_ so real.

She smiled again at my utter… was there any word that could adequately describe what I felt at the moment? Her eyes looked so tender as they gazed into mine.

"That's right. You're human again."

My imagination was going to kill me with shock. I would never be able to use my brain again, at least.

The corner of her mouth turned up in amusement, but her brow furrowed a little. It looked like she was- impatient?

"You're the one imagining this- it shouldn't be that big of a surprise," she muttered, shaking her head. She indicated at something behind me with her hand. "Go ahead- try tearing a branch off of that tree."

I turned, following her gaze. A few feet from us was a thick oak tree with branches twisting into the green canopy above it. I knew how easily I could tear a single branch off- it would feel like tearing a piece of paper. I could uproot the whole tree without much effort. But if I was human again…

I walked the few steps to the tree- it did seem much slower than my normal pace. I gripped a branch in my hand, feeling the rough bark. I paused for a second, wondering how much bitterness I would feel when it did rip away easily, how much scorn for myself I would feel for letting myself believe for one second.

I faced Bella and, with probably a very bleak expression on my face, I tugged on the branch.

It stayed where it was, completely immobile.

I turned to look at the branch. Had my mouth dropped to the floor? It felt like it should have. I tugged on it again, using all of my strength. There was no change.

A shaky, slightly hysterical laugh escaped my lips. Still no words existed to describe my feelings.

I was not _strong_. I didn't have to mind every action to not break the things around me. I didn't have to be careful.

I turned to look at her, standing there, the most beautiful thing in this extraordinary setting. I knew exactly what I most wanted to be non-careful with.

My heart raced as fast as seemed possible without dying.

I walked over to her, every step taking me closer to my most cherished dream come true. To finally experience what I thought could never be slightly terrified me.

She had never looked even the slightest bit surprised during the whole encounter. It felt like she was the director of some play, knowing exactly what would happen and waiting for all of the right lines to be said. I saw the slight impatience as well, as if she were anticipating her favorite part.

I stopped closer to her, closer than I had ever allowed myself to stand before. With much thought and care, my hand slowly, so slowly, reached up to touch the skin over her cheek. Warm, soft, it still seemed fragile, but I didn't feel fear anymore. Only wonder.

She closed her eyes and sighed. It didn't sound like my touch disgusted her. She looked… very content.

As if to reinforce this thought, her small, delicate hand closed over mine on her face, holding it there.

"Warm," she murmured. Her eyes opened once more and looked into mine. "Your eyes are green again, too."

I felt ready to collapse from the joy. I could really do anything I wanted. I had no restrictions. My other hand came up to cup the other side of her face. My face drew nearer to hers of its own accord.

"Bella," I whispered. Not only was this my chance to freely touch her, but also to say everything I had ever wanted to say to her. The most important came first of course. "I love you."

Her face radiated joy again and I knew for certain then how much this was just the workings of my imagination. How incredibly opposite this was to reality. Did I let that stop me? The idea was ludicrous.

My breath trembled as I lowered my head closer to hers. I smoothed my thumb over her lower lip, delighting in the soft, pliant feel of it. It made me want to contrast it with another texture.

I moved the slightest bit forward and touched my lips to hers. I didn't think my imagination was capable of holding the pleasure I felt at the moment. Apparently it was.

She did not stiffen and try to break away. My lips were no longer hard and cold and repulsive.

She kissed me back. Quite enthusiastically.

There was no possibility for me to refrain from continuing to kiss her.

Only after a few moments did it occur to me that this would have to end sometime. I would eventually wake up from this. My brain could not remain inert forever. The idea of the pain that that end would cause momentarily disabled me.

She looked sad suddenly, pain drawing her face into a frown. She touched her soft fingers to my lips. "I have to go now."

"No!" The word cut into me, slicing into my being like a sharp dagger. The pain was real now. I wasn't sure how I would survive it. "There must be some way! How can we stop it from ending?!"

"We can't." I heard the heartbreak in her voice. "There's nothing we can do."

"There is! There must be!" My tone was somewhere in between desperation and rage.

She stretched on her tiptoes, and brought my face down to meet hers. Her lips touched softly to mine. "I love you, Edward. I'm so sorry."

"Bella!" I felt the tears behind my eyes. My new heart throbbed so painfully in my chest- it was like it was dying again already.

She stepped back slowly away from me, flickering in and out, like a fuzzy image on a television screen.

I opened my eyes to find myself sitting in Carlisle's office. Utterly alone once again.

Author's note: It's probably more melodramatic and fluffy than I usually care for, but oh well. :) I wrote it earlier on and was going to put it in one of my other stories, but have decided not to. So it's a one-shot now.


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